


Growing up

by queen_ypolita



Category: The Charioteer - Mary Renault
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-30 17:45:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_ypolita/pseuds/queen_ypolita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andrew realises Dave can't help him to find the answers any more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Growing up

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my trope_bingo card "coming of age/rites of passage" square.

He found the book half-hidden in a stack of books and leaflets that had been building up on the lower level of the occasional table at the end of the sofa in the corner of the living-room. He wasn't sure what had caught his eye: it was Dave's usual spot, and most of the books in the stack were ones that Dave had been reading at one point or another and had had to put down as he was needed somewhere else. But he recognised this book immediately: it was Laurie's, the one he had been reading by the stream, and he couldn't understand how it came to be here. But here it was, with Andrew's name written inside in Laurie's handwriting. He took the book and put it in his pocket.

It took him a couple of days to catch Dave on his own to talk. The nights were busy, and there always seemed to be somebody else around in the house at other times, and he didn't want an audience for this conversation. When he had a moment alone—there weren't many—he kept picking the book up and opening it at random, reading a page here, another page there. His mind kept imagining explanations for the book—some seemed reasonable, like Dave simply forgetting to pass it on; others made him feel uncomfortable for even thinking them, like Dave stopping Laurie giving the book to him in in person. He tried to push all those thoughts aside until he'd spoken to Dave, it wasn't fair on Dave who'd always had Andrew's best interests in mind. 

It turned out to be an uncomfortable conversation when he finally caught Dave alone, one morning in the kitchen, washing up and humming something that Andrew didn't recognise. It all seemed cosy and normal, but the moment Andrew showed him the book the atmosphere changed. He had had difficult conversations with Dave before, and it wasn't as if they had never disagreed, but none of those conversations had seemed quite as uncomfortable as this one. Andrew couldn't remember a time when Dave hadn't been willing to see things from the other person's point of view, but this time he had seemed blinkered, convinced that he had been right to keep Laurie's visit and the book from Andrew. No matter what Andrew said, Dave wouldn't acknowledge he knew his own mind. 

Afterwards, he felt unsettled. Ever since he had appealed to Dave in the row over the school choice, Dave had always helped him to find his way, to feel guided by the inner light. When he'd been torn about his call-up, Dave had listened to him, offered opinions, seemed confident that he could arrive to the decision that was right for him at the end. This time, there had been none of that. 

In fact, he felt betrayed. Talking to Dave was supposed to make him feel better, and this conversation about the book—and Laurie, and what Andrew might want to do about any of it—had made him feel worse. He had never blindly taken Dave's advice, but to realise that there were things in his life that Dave couldn't give any advice on that he was willing to hear felt strange, as if he'd lost something important he couldn't get back. He knew he would continue to ask for Dave's advice, and value it, but he now knew that he couldn't confide in Dave about everything any more, as if he had gone through a door that had closed after him, and left Dave behind.


End file.
